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Stop Your Divorce Article
from: Stop Your Divorce
Of course, you want to save your marriage. But you are confused and afraid and you don’t know where to turn or to whom. You want to stop your divorce more than anything else, and you should. But where do you start?
This is the question posed by Mr. Homer McDonald, the author of the book, Stop Your Divorce! (ISBN 0-9712554-0-7). For over 45 years, Mr. McDonald has been helping thousands of couples with his practice located in San Antonio, Texas. With his book Stop Your Divorce!, published by NewInformation!, Inc. (115 Wooden Way, Winter Haven, FL 33884), he offers a step by step guide to help you overcome the issues that are the cause of your marriage troubles and stop your divorce right at the onset.
First, he shows you what you’re doing wrong.
The Four Strategies that won’t help you Stop Your Divorce
What some people don’t understand is that some of the things they are doing to stop their divorce from happening are the very things that lead to it. In his book, Mr. McDonald gives four examples:
* The first is to give them reassurance.
You might think you are doing something good. You are giving them reassurance. However, it turns out that you are only aggravating the situation more.
Are these lines familiar?
“I’ve changed. I won’t be controlling anymore. I won’t like to you anymore. I won’t have another affair.”
If so, then you should know that they almost never work.
* Telling them over and over “I love you.”
Mr. McDonald says that it never works like that. Especially if you are saying one thing and doing another.
* Arguing
This also includes reasoning, trying to talk them into feeling different or doing different. If you constantly talk about how they were wrong, they become more wrong.
* Pessimism.
It’s addicting. But dwelling on negative feelings and negative thoughts will only result in more negative feelings and negative thoughts, which you don’t really need right now.
Don’t think that you can’t do anything about it. Don’t think that you can’t change his or her mind about you. Instead, think positive.
Now, for the things that you can do to stop your divorce.
Turn the Tide in Your Favor
Mr. McDonald calls it the jujitsu technique, where the wrestler uses the strength, energy and weight of his opponent to their own advantage and to the disadvantage of the opponent. The same principle applies when you are trying to stop your divorce:
* Stop pressuring.
* Agree with anything your mate says or does.
* Act perfectly happy.
When you stop your complaining, your whining, and your criticizing of your partner and instead start agreeing with him or her, you are forcing them to rethink their own decisions. In fact, it might not be surprising to find your partner, instead of telling you how bad they’re feeling, defending you.