The Different Stages of Marriage

Many theories are available that explain the different stages of marriage. Some of these stages common in a marriage are:

Stage one - Some physiological changes indicate that you have fallen in love. Some hormonal changes take place that release certain chemicals that make you ‘feel good.' This in turn brings on emotional changes - you feel more energetic, optimistic, feel well and have an increased sexual desire.

During the first stage, your life is full of romance. It is usually referred to as the romance or honeymoon stage. A man and his woman join together with high expectations. They expect each other to fulfill his and her hopes and dreams. Although in love, they still do not know each other fully well. They live in an illusion believing that they have found their perfect match and now they will live the ‘happily ever after' life.  Both partners are in infatuation and they romantically dream a particular life style as the end result of their marriage. This stage generally does not last long. Experts say it may last only for several months but not more than a year.

Stage two - During this stage as daily routine rolls in, anxiety and disappointments may set in. You may be annoyed at the habits of your partner. Couples start finding fault and may begin to blame each other for their own disappointed feelings. Soon they begin to wonder if they had made a right choice in getting married.

Married individuals wake up to the reality that the married person does not match their own concept of their ideal mate. While some couples will ignore the disappointment and the accompanying feelings, some will attempt to exhibit their disappointment through anger and resentment. Some couples may even go as far as terminating the relationship. This is the most common stage where many couples tend to seek divorce or dissolution, after the ‘honeymoon is over.'

Stage three - After the second stage comes stage three. At this stage each partner may begin to go through a self-analysis. They come to look at his or her own weakness, mistakes, etc. and stops blaming the other.  Each of them will begin discovering his or her self and start to pursue their personal interests. Each partner may start finding their circle of friends; they may get involved with their own activities. They may create a separate lifestyle different from the other. This may lead to the possibility of parting their ways.

Stage four - In this stage, the partners begin to look at each other again.  They try to understand each other's interests and values; they both try to make a conscious effort to commitment to their relationship; they realize that they care about each other. With this attitude of accommodation, they develop a new romance, which is based on reality this time.

Stage five - Your relationship goes through a transformation phase. The married partners practice and perfect their newfound feelings. They learn to develop mutual respect, trust, care, etc. which helps to build a strong marriage.

It may not be easy to build a strong relationship. But there is help if you need it along the way:

Talk to happily married couples, read books on the subject of a good marriage and focus on your own behavior so that you could make conscious effort in self-improvement. There are other avenues such as seeking a counselor or therapist to help you in your efforts. It takes both the partners to build a marriage nest.

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